On getting old

Six months ago I became a greatgrandmother! How did that ever happen? (Ariana's the cutest little baby you ever saw.)  

So after five children, 21 grand children and now starting on the great grand children, I can begin to feel rather elderly. But that's ok. Age has it's advantages. You can be as eccentric as you want and no one will scold. You no longer worry about styles or manners and customs. 

On the eve of my 70th birthday I'm in awe of how fast time has gone by, how old and venerable I've become, how many memories have accumulated. But I worry still about the future, however long it is. Will I hang in there? I've got to endure to the end!

Getting old means now you've got the time and money to do the things you've always wanted to do, but you no longer have the energy and enthusiasm needed in order to do them!  What a catch 22. 

We were visiting the Nashes to show them Familysearch indexing and Louise's theory is that when you go on a mission as a senior couple you lose your reputation and have to build a new one. Which for us was not quite true in San Diego. We came with one that was fastened to the calling. And then she says when you get back both you and your reputation have been forgotten. Which I would agree with. We're in a large ward and don't feel very needed. I keep trying to convince myself that it's the young people's turn to have the callings because they need to learn from them (and they can do them better). But to sit back and relax doesn't feel right at all. With my vast experience why don't they want to hear from me any more?

Even the children are through listening. They are now so independent and capable  we often turn to them for help.  So the roles are reversed.

As I see it, life is like a 3-act play. We are in the second act right now. The ancestors who've gone on before are in the third act and are cheering us on, saying, "Come on, you can do it. Do a good job so you can come and join us." And our future descendants who are still in act one are also watching us and saying, "Come on Grandma, or Mom, or whoever. Do a good job so we can come and enjoy a good heritage." And they may even be giving us nudges in the right direction. I can feel those nudges sometimes. They are mainly to do with fostering relationships. For "that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy."